The Critical Decision to Get Up and Walk the Dog
The Critical Decision to Get Up and Walk the Dog
That first night after the house burned, my husband and I stayed across the street with our wonderful neighbors Jacques and Veronique. They immediately opened their home to us, and gave us their basement guest room to sleep in. They had an amazing way of quietly providing us with everything we needed. I will love them forever because of the humanity and unconditional love they showed us.
We hardly slept that first night. We held each other. We cried in the privacy of that little basement room.
The next morning, I remember being astonished that the sun actually came up again – amazed that there was another day.
It must have been around 6 AM. Our hosts were still asleep. That’s when we made the big decision.
We decided to get up, walk down the street to where our dog was staying, and take him for his morning romp.
I know that sounds like a very minor and mundane action, but it was literally our first major step towards healing our lives. The magnitude and majesty of that morning walk stays with me even to this day.
The sacred routine. The sweet greeting from our dog. The beauty of our neighborhood at the end of August. The morning air still cool. The birds chirping noisily. Seeing the newspaper being delivered.
The news. The world. People. Life. It was all still there, and so were we.
I knew then, as I know now, that we were going to be alright.
It’s Not Easy Building Green
It’s Not Easy Building Green
After the trauma of the fire, and after assessing the extensive damage to the house, we decided to save the structure of the front and façade of the house, and rebuild the rest, (since most of it was gone anyway). We received what we believe was a fair amount from our insurance company to rebuild our home. We wanted to build where our hearts and minds were – as “Green” as possible.
We were very lucky to be able to work with a wonderful contractor who had worked with many of these great new building materials.
We would have loved to have had the funds to build a solar-powered house using totally sustainable materials. Instead we did some research and did what we could afford.
The first step was getting to know what materials were out there. A friend recommended a visit to Amicus Green Building center. It’s a great place to see and touch samples, and the staff is friendly and very knowledgeable. However, Amicus is pricey, so we ended up writing down the names of the materials and products we liked, and then going on line to find cheaper prices.
I believe that the prices of all these materials and products will come down when the demand for them goes up. I’d love to walk into a Home Depot some day and see sustainable and domestically manufactured materials everywhere. To their credit, they have started an Eco-Options product line.
In the mean time, here’s what we were able to do:
Insulation made from denim scraps
Water Filtration (No more bottled water)
I also recommend these Great Green sites:
http://green.yahoo.com/blog/greenpicks/103/getting-credit-for-going-green.html
Healing The House
Healing the House
There are rituals for just about everything – the birth of a child, graduation from school, initiation into adulthood, love commitment to a partner, christening of a sea-worthy vessel, swearing-in of a president, reaching the top of a mountain, a loved one’s transition to death, but what ritual do you perform when your house burns down?
When I was 10, my family went to Jerusalem for my brother’s Bar Mitzvah, and to visit my Uncle and his family. My brother’s ceremony took place at The Western wall. I remember seeing people placing little pieces of paper into the cracks of the wall. My mother told me they were putting prayers in the wall. That idea resonated with me then, and it still does now. I have always believed in the power of writing down intentions, so when it came to doing a ritual for the house, a clear idea emerged.
After removing dumpsters full of burned and melted debris, the remains of the house consisted of charred studs and floors where there still was a house at all.
The amazing construction team had to shore-up what remained in order to start framing out the new part of the house. As soon as it was safe to enter, we were in there with 2 of our nephews performing our “after the fire house ritual”.
We first thanked the house for sheltering us and our friends and family for so many years. We thanked it for providing a safe and nurturing place. We thanked it for providing a place for us to do our music and art. We thanked it for providing a place for rest and healing, joy, laughter, and tears. We thanked it for being a welcoming and sacred place for us. Then we got to work….
Each person was given some turquoise paint and a brush. Turquoise has always been a healing color for me. We went as a group from room to room speaking and painting our positive intentions on the beams and studs.
To know that those positive words live inside the walls of my house, is a constant reminder of what a miracle it is to get a second chance to rebuild your house and your life.
The Big Safety Net
The Big Safety Net
Safety is not what I thought it was. It has to do with how your spirit rolls along.
It has to do with the hands that catch you, the voices that reassure you, and some kind of inner super-hero that makes you brave enough to put one foot in front of the other when you are not sure that you even have feet.
For many months after the fire, I felt like ether, steam, and the thinnest layer of cellophane.
Barely here, and yet confident that somehow I was safe in the universe.
Safe in the universe because we are part of the universe.
The universe accepts you when you have (seemingly) lost everything. It is the greatest feeling to be held by the Big Safety Net.
It is like being oxygen. So insignificant and anonymous, and yet, a huge part of what drives life itself.
As I live and breathe, I live and breathe.
It’s cool to be a molecule !
22 FIRE GODDESSES
22 Fire Goddesses
In my quest to understand and process being a fire survivor, it has helped me tremendously to view fire in a variety of contexts. I love learning about different religions and belief systems, so in this post, I give you 22 Fire Goddesses.
They represent 16 different cultures/religions, and a wide variety of types of FIRE. There are destructive fire Goddesses, hearth and kitchen fire Goddesses, sacred fire Goddesses, healing and nourishing fire Goddesses, and even a Goddess who protects against fire. There are also many fire Gods, but I’ll save them for an upcoming post. Please leave a comment to let me know which Fire Goddesses I left any out.
Agnayi -Hindu goddess of fire
Aodh – Celtic Fire Goddess
Arani - Hindu Goddess of Fire
Brigit or Brighid – Irish Goddess worshipped in Celtic polytheism
Caia Caecilia, also called Gaia Caecilia – Roman Goddess of Fire, the Hearth, Healing, and Women
Chantico – Aztec Goddess of fires in the family hearth and volcanoes
Freya- Norse Goddess of fire and the domestic arts
Fuchi,-Japanese Goddess of fire
Gabija – Lithuanian Goddess of fire and of the hearth
Hestia - Greek Goddess of the hearth
Ida- Hindu goddess of fire and devotion
Itzpapalotl - Aztec Goddess of Fire and Birds
Li- Chinese Goddess of the nourishing fire
Mahuika – Maori fire Goddess
Nantosuelta – Gaul Goddess of nature, the earth, fire, and fertility
Oya – African Fire, Wind and Thunderbolt Goddess of the Yoruba Tribe
Oynyena Maria – Polish ,”Fiery Mary,” a fire Goddess who assists and counsels the thunder God Piorun
Pele – Hawaiian, the Goddess of fire, lightning, dance, and volcanoes.
Sekhmet – Egyptian Fire or Sun Goddess
Stata Mater – Roman Goddess who protected against fires
Vesta – Roman Goddess of sacred fire, the hearth, home, and family
To learn more about all kinds of Goddesses, check out the amazing work of Hrana Janto.
Mountains of Things
Mountains of Things
When all of my stuff got destroyed in a house fire, I naturally gained a new perspective on material possessions.
After the fire, it became almost unbearable to go into a retail establishment. It was overwhelming to have to think about choosing from such an over-abundance of items. Fortunately, I have a very patient friend who would call me up and say things like, “Today I am going to take you to get a pair of socks”. She’d pick me up, we’d go to a store, run in, get one or two items, and then try to get out of there before I had a melt-down.
When you have lived in the same house for 17 years, your material possessions become filled with life, energy, and stories. When you are surrounded by mass quantities of brand new mass-produced objects, it can feel like the life is being sucked right out of you. So many objects in need of human attention can be absolutely overwhelming. I still struggle with “retail panic” to some degree, but I have not cried in a store since November.
I am now happy to have less stuff and to be working on having consciousness about living an uncluttered life.
Here’s a little song I wrote called, “I’ve Cried Everywhere”
*Sing it to the tune of “I’ve Been Everywhere”
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried at the mall, Man
A melt-down and a bawl, Man
I’ve shed ten-thousand tears, Man
I’ve cried everywhere
I’ve cried at farmers’ markets, Target, JC Penney
Kmart, Wal-Mart, the check-out line at Safeway
In my throes at Trader Joe’s hiding behind the mangoes
CVS, Costco, especially Home Depot
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried at the mall, Man
A melt-down and a bawl, Man
I’ve shed ten-thousand tears, Man
I’ve cried everywhere
I’ve cried at CVS, Sears, IKEA, and Lowes
At the Macy’s super-sale on all women’s clothes
PetSmart, Old Navy, Marshall’s too
While shopping at Whole Foods into the tofu
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried everywhere, Man
I’ve cried at the mall, Man
A melt-down and a bawl, Man
I’ve shed ten-thousand tears, Man
I’ve cried everywhere
Dogliness is next to Godliness
Dogliness is Next to Godliness
After almost 20 years of touring, teaching, and sound tech work, my husband and I decided to “settle down” and get a DOG!
We had both had dogs while growing up, and enjoyed dog sitting for friends and family.
We liked the unconditional love that dogs can bring, the companionship, the exercise, and we both felt strongly about adopting a dog from a shelter.
After work one day, I drove over to the PG County Animal Shelter, and was instantly drawn to a dog that resembled an underweight albino Muppet. His fur was patchy – revealing bright pink skin underneath, but he had intelligent eyes, a joyful spirit, and a sweet nature.
Adopting Beauregard was one of the best things we have ever done.
On August 17th,2007, he woke me up from a nap by jumping on me and barking. He saved both of our lives that day from a fire that was rapidly consuming the back of the house.
Those stories that you hear about dogs saving lives are true.
If you are thinking about adding a pet to your family, I urge you to visit your local animal shelter and to support The Humane Society and the SPCA.
The life you save could end up being your own.
P.S. Beauregard is now a healthy 72-pound mutt. We think he is a Spinone/Pit mix.
He still looks like a Muppet.
Why I Want To Marry the Red Cross
Why I Want To Marry the Red Cross
I used to think that The Red Cross only showed up if there was a disaster of biblical proportion to be dealt with and throngs of people in crisis to soothe, shelter, and feed.
Well, they also show up when your house burns down.
They not only show up, but they VOLUNTEER to show up.
If I could marry an organization, (and polygamy was legal in my state), I would marry The Red Cross.
As the firefighters fought fiercely to subdue the blaze consuming our house and now also the neighbors’ roof, my husband and I lay on the carpeted floor of a neighbors’ house across the street.
We were trying to stay calm as various police, fire inspectors, EMTs, and friends came in and out.
In the midst of all the chaos, a soft-spoken diminutive old man entered the room. He said he was from The Red Cross and showed us his credentials. He sat with us for over an hour through almost constant interruptions. Somehow, he managed to get all of the vital information he needed. We were in such shock, that it was almost a comfort to answer his questions.
After he had ascertained that we’d be staying with friends as opposed to going to a hotel, he announced that he was done.
He handed us a debit card from the Red Cross worth $500.
Before I could thank him properly or even get his name, he had vanished.
Talk about your everyday heroes! Who was that unmasked man?
That debit card was a life saver. When you have lost 98% of all your material possessions, it is a remarkable thing to be able to buy food for your pets, a pen, a notebook , shoes, (I had left the house barefoot), and much more.
When you have lost all of your stuff, it is a great gift of dignity to be able to buy your own underwear.
I urge you to make a donation to The Red Cross. You never know when you will be on the receiving end of their amazing services.
P.S. Here is a way to directly help a fellow-blogger who recently lost her home to fire.
* Thanks Liz for sending this my way !
Everyday Heroes
Everyday Heroes
Before the fire department
Before the police
Before Fox 5 landed with lights on my lawn
The heroes showed up
I ran out of a burning house with my dog, a birdcage, and my keys.
The heroes were already there waiting to help.
Somebody moved the car out of the driveway, got me some water, called my husband, took my animals to their house, and held my hand.
I am filled with awe and eternal gratitude by the simple kind acts of these folks.
I’m pretty sure that these amazing people were not sitting around at home thinking, “How can I be a hero today?”
Some of these people I know and some I will never know.
I am filled with awe and eternal gratitude for their actions.
I know for sure that there is part of each and every one of us that is heroic.
A heroic act can be very small. You don’t have to leap tall buildings in a single bound or stop a moving train in order to be a hero.
You are probably a hero every day without even realizing it.
When you encourage a child to learn, smile at a stranger, adopt a pet from a shelter, recycle, buy locally-grown produce, or take an elderly neighbor to the super market, you are a hero.
John Lennon sang, “A working class hero is something to be.”
I sing, “An everyday hero is something to be”.
Sparks
Heart on Fire
Sparks
Yeah – if you live in my neighborhood, you know me or at least have heard about me in line at the co-op, or Sunday morning at the farmers’ market. I’m the one whose house burned down. It has now been 18 months since it happened, so people are starting to forget. That is a good thing. The nosy questions from people I hardly know are fizzling out. The freaked-out phone calls from estranged friends who have belatedly heard the news, have all but ceased. No more conversations quickly stopping when I am spotted at the dog park. For the most part, I am being treated normally again.
However, I am not as I once was.
I am stronger and more fragile.
I am more compassionate and less tolerant.
I am more outspoken and quieter.
I am profoundly changed.
It is time to write it down.
They say that everything you need to know, you learn in kindergarten.
Everything I know for sure, I have learned since walking out of a burning house 18 months ago.The rest, I’m still trying to figure out.
Welcome to Kindlingarden!
It is an honor to share my thoughts with you on this blog.
