Sparks

February 5, 2009 at 3:39 pm (Memoirs) (, , )

Heart on Fire

Heart on Fire

Sparks
Yeah – if you live in my neighborhood, you know me or at least have heard about me in line at the co-op, or Sunday morning at the farmers’ market. I’m the one whose house burned down. It has now been 18 months since it happened, so people are starting to forget. That is a good thing. The nosy questions from people I hardly know are fizzling out. The freaked-out phone calls from estranged friends who have belatedly heard the news, have all but ceased. No more conversations quickly stopping when I am spotted at the dog park. For the most part, I am being treated normally again.
However, I am not as I once was.
I am stronger and more fragile.
I am more compassionate and less tolerant.
I am more outspoken and quieter.
I am profoundly changed.

It is time to write it down.

They say that everything you need to know, you learn in kindergarten.

Everything I know for sure, I have learned since walking out of a burning house 18 months ago.The rest, I’m still trying to figure out.
Welcome to Kindlingarden!
It is an honor to share my thoughts with you on this blog.

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12 Comments

  1. Miz Liz said,

    Awesome! Wishing you clarity and love along your journey!

  2. bonze said,

    Welcome, Phoenix, fly!!!

  3. Victoria Fleming said,

    Rachel
    The losses are too numerous to wrap ones’ head around
    and the heart can only take so much… but, you’ve been beyond courageous in light of your circumstance. And
    though it may sound glib and too cliche, I do believe that
    there are no mistake on the plant earth and what does not kill us makes us stronger.

    I will write more when my thoughts feel more centered Rachel
    but I just wanted to click in before I catch my 3pm plane to Arizona to meet Jimmy.

    Be well, focus on peaceful images, and be happy!

    You are alive, spiritually stronger than you might believe and surrounded by loving forces and people.

    Peace and love
    Victoria

  4. Philk Weiner said,

    Rache,

    Love your blog. The best of luck in your writings. I look forward to being kept informed of your comings and goings as does Mom.

    Love,

    Dad

  5. Steve said,

    I look forward to reading more…be safe in your journey and may you find peace and balance along the way…Steve

  6. rachelanncross said,

    Thanks to all of you who commented on “opening day” of this blog. I am encouraged and uplifted by your comments.

  7. Carol & Billy Finch said,

    Hello Radiant Rachel,
    Love the Heart on Fire.
    The Blog is way cool.
    You are changed but in a really wonderful way.
    We are happy to part of all the growth and positive steps that rose up from the ashes.
    Thank you for (once again) turning lemons into lemonade.
    Love,
    Carol & Billy

  8. Karen said,

    WTF.

    Wow.

    I hadn’t heard about this.

    Count me as one friend (hopefully not too estranged) freaked out by the news.

  9. Kim said,

    My dear sista

    Glad you are writing about this for yourself and for us all! I love that you are able to now reflect and do the deeper healing these thoughts on paper. . . no but computer screen. It has been my hopes, that with all my recent dramas, I would find the nerve or the ability to do as you are now. You have always been a huge inspiration for me, and I know this is just another wonderful example why you are one of my biggest heroes too.

    All my love and respect for you, and my thanks to the universe that they let us keep you here with us.

    xoxoxoxo
    kim

  10. Kathleen Hannan said,

    Ah, Rachel! What a treat to hear the poetry of your thoughts and heart. Thank you for sharing with all of us in this beautiful way. I so look forward to hearing more from you. Love, K

  11. Dulcie said,

    Thanks so much for including me. I’ll look forward to reading more. I don’t get to see you enough so this will help with that. Love, Dulcie

  12. Diana Weiner said,

    Hi Sweetheart,
    It was so gratifying to read your blog and to know that you have such a philosophical point of view now.You certainly did find out who your good friends are. Now your home is just perfect and Dad and I hope you will live in it for many happy and healthy years.
    Love,
    Mom

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